Routine to Romance: Part Two
5 More Ways to Rekindle Your Relationship
Warning… If you find yourself craving sugar, chocolate, junk food, alcohol or other drugs
it may be a sign you need more thrill in your life.
Adventure is a fundamental human need. We are wired for adventure and we all hunger for the pleasure that results from adventure, play and laughter.
And there is no doubt, when marriages are void of fun, adventure, and play, the spark dies, and the relationship becomes lifeless, empty, and sterile. Life becomes nothing more than a series of “to-dos” and tasks that need to get done.
When you love WHAT you are doing and WHO you are doing it with life is so much more enriching and fulfilling.
Here are 5 more fun and easy strategies to liven up your relationship (plus a bonus)!
6. use time wisely
Shift your focus from quantity to quality.
Plan date nights and dive into deep conversations. Or just cuddle up, enjoy a show or a series together and chill (without the chill). Listen to a podcast and discuss what you learned. Don’t know where to start… Listen to Rich Roll’s interview with Esther Perel. Together they openly discuss the importance of adventure and reinventing your relationship to create something more authentic.
Its intentional moments and meaningful exchanges that build strong bonds and allow space for you to decompress, grow and share adventures together.
7. Expand your network
Couples do not have to do all things together.
Time apart can be healthy and beneficial for your relationship. Encourage each other to hang out with friends. Do that girls trip, enjoy something with just the guys, dare do that solo adventure you’ve been dreaming of. It’s important to have a social network of your own.
8. Check in emotionally
Double down on connection.
Because communication is key to the health and wellness of every relationship, we’re doubling down on the importance of weekly relationship check-ins. As we noted in the first 5 strategies set aside 60 minutes weekly for emotional check-ins. Being open and vulnerable fosters deeper intimacy and connection. When you go into these check-ins, approach them with a mindset of understanding and a desire to feel it rather than fix it.
Ask your partner if they want to be heard, supported, comforted, helped or hugged!
9. love selflessly
Never underestimate the power of small gestures.
Say “thank you” often… even for little things. Praise your partner for both big and small accomplishments. Keep the physical touch alive, hold hands, hug, kiss, snuggle! Discuss your love languages and express your love with gestures that serve your partner.
These moments may be little, but they demonstrate interest and interest leads to deep connection and desire.
10. Injection of Connection
When your partner is busy rushing to get things done, gently place your hands on their shoulders.
This simple gesture serves as an injection of connection and can help ground them and could even lead to the 20-second hug or 6-second kiss we recommended in the first five strategies.
BONUS: Adventure Together
Adventure is as important to marriage as sex and intimacy.
Yet play and adventure tend to be the first to go and the last to get done as our lives become busy and more complicated. The research is consistent and clear, couples who play together stay together. Couples who laugh and make life an adventure have stronger, healthier and happier relationships.
Play lights up our brain and it refreshes adult relationships, eases connection, creates shared meaning and grows both trust and intimacy.
Playing and indulging in adventures together creates a dopamine infused thrill that leads to euphoric feelings of pleasure. And when you share experiences that cause this rush it strengthens your friendship and tightens your bond.
And the more novel, thrilling, and even a bit scary your adventures together are, the more likely you will experience the thrill of the love cocktail, a hormonal chemical of dopamine, norepinephrine, and phenethylamine (PEA) these hormones combine to create the natural high you feel when in love. This chemical cocktail draws you closer and creates feelings of sexual arousal.
Building a loving, long-term relationship takes work and commitment, but it doesn’t have to feel like a chore.
By gradually introducing these practices into your daily life, you can create a thriving, joyful partnership.
If you want to be added to our list of couples interested in attending our Couples Adventure Retreats (Summer 2025) reach out today (jackie@freibergs.com), space is limited. Check out our You Tube channel for more on how you’ll play together and gain priceless tools and strategies for growing stronger Twogether.
