Winning an argument might feel good, but it often leads to loneliness and conflict. The urge to be right stems from pride and insecurity, creating stress and disconnect. Instead of insisting on your perspective, consider being open to others’ viewpoints. Embrace differences and prioritize growth over ego. Disagreement doesn’t have to be about right or wrong; it can simply be about learning and understanding differing perspectives. By focusing on understanding, kindness and openness, you’ll build stronger, more respected personal and professional relationships.

Try it! Grow your reputation as a leader who is respected, liked AND deeply loved.

In times of uncertainty, our brains instinctively seek to make sense of the chaos. This tendency is rooted in self-protection, as our minds crave patterns—good vs. bad, safe vs. dangerous, ally vs. enemy. When clear patterns aren’t available, we often fill the gaps with “possible” stories, leading us to create what Brené Brown calls “shitty first drafts” (SFDs). In relationships, where uncertainty is common, we script/draft our own account of the uncertainty or confusion and this tendency can be particularly damaging. We often misinterpret others’ actions, crafting narratives that reflect our anxieties rather than reality.

The first step is to own your SFD and be brave enough to share it by engaging in what the Dare To Lead™ community calls a “rumble.”  When you dare to rumble you vulnerably and honestly share your SFD, you block time to discuss the “tough stuff” (the narratives we weave in our minds to make sense of behaviors we do not understand). A rumble is about showing up for the relationship and kicking your ego to the curb. By confronting our SFDs and sharing them with others, we can transform uncertainty into a more accurate understanding. The commitment to rumbling leads to more fulfilling relationships personally and professionally and will improve the quality of your life.

The most respected, liked, and loved people we know share a common quality: they are both interested and interesting—in that order!

Being Interested means embracing curiosity. It’s about learning, understanding and caring about the ideas and opinions of others, asking questions, and creating space for meaningful conversations. Do you invite others to share their thoughts, or do you dominate discussions? Do you ask to know and understand or ask to tell?  Remember, being overly talkative will stifle connection.

Being Interesting, on the other hand, involves having a unique perspective and compelling stories to share. Research shows that stories can enhance recall by up to 300%. They make information memorable and create shared experiences that bond communities.

So, take some time and check-in with yourself on your level of being interested and interesting. What will you work on—being more curious or honing your storytelling skills? To enhance your leadership, relationships, and overall quality of life, strive for that balance.

Try it, show up and be both interested AND interesting with colleagues, friends and family… Doing so will exponentially improve the quality of your relationships and your life.

The idea that actions speak louder than words really does have a huge impact on your relationships. 

When our kids were young we had a neighborhood carpool. Kevin, self-admittedly, is notoriously late. And that didn’t go over well with a couple of the kids in the carpool. First day: Kevin showed up late. He pulled up, rolled down the window and said, “Sorry!” Second day: Kevin showed up late and said, “So sorry!” Our neighbor looked at Kevin and said, “Don’t be sorry, change!” Our neighbor was right.

The phrase “Don’t be sorry, change!” made such an impression on us that we have adopted it as a family and professional motto and practice it regularly in our home and with colleagues and clients.

A study from Harvard Business Review found that only 10-15% of people are genuinely self-aware. Many of us curate a polished image on social media and in our professional and personal circles. And over time, we grow to believe the polished narratives and become increasingly unaware of our flaws. As a result, about 80% lack self-awareness and may be misleading ourselves and others.

Most people believe they are above average in various social qualities. Be warned, the study also noted that the least competent individuals tend to be the most confident, so to borrow from the lyrics of a Brothers Osborne song, “they are legends in their own minds.” Another interesting finding, as people rise in power, they receive less feedback, leading to blind spots that hinder self-awareness. And a lack of self-awareness will lead to significant flaws in leadership and relationships.

The good news? Self-awareness can be developed. Here are three steps to help you remove the blinders and open your eyes to what others experience when you land on them:

Ask for Feedback: Seek input from trusted sources, people who are “for you” and want you to improve. Embrace the insights they offer to help you gain a more objective perspective of yourself.

Warning: Don’t be that person who asks for feedback and never really changes… Those people are known as Askholes.

Own the Truth: When receiving feedback, look for common themes. And once you gather the feedback, reflect on it and take action, decide how you will shift and adjust your behavior.

Act on It: Don’t just acknowledge the feedback—change! Self-awareness and professional development require actionable steps to improve. Hold yourself accountable and ask your trusted sources to extend truth and grace, invite them to celebrate your success and recalibrate any setbacks.